As a world renown scientist, common people always are approaching me with questions. Asking stuff like… “Why is the sky blue?”, “Why is the earth round?”, “How do you survive a shark attack?” Well guess what? Today you are going to learn, from me a scientist, how to survive a shark attack.

Before I became a world renown scientist, I was a championship swimmer/diver. My youth was spent diving off cliffs and swimming across channels and I became familiar with the ways of survival at sea. Having once been swallowed whole by a whale, and removing myself from its belly by cutting through the lining of its stomach with partially digested coral, I feel that I qualify as an expert. So please remember the following tips if you find yourself face to face with a killer shark.

SHARK ATTACK SURVIVAL TIPS

1. Remember to remain calm. Don’t thrash around, that will draw the attention of the shark and you don’t want that.
2. Keep your eye on the shark at all times. Sharks are a fan of the sneak attack, if they are coming up from behind you, you’re probably already dead.
3. Get into a defensive position. All those hours spent in the pool practicing your crane kicks and roundhouse kicks, this is when that training comes in hand. What? I’m the only one that practiced my karate stances in the pool? Then you gonna be in trouble.
4. Fight, do not give up, focus on areas such as the gills or the eyes of the shark. If you swing for the mouth, the shark will likely bite off your hand/arm/head.
5. Get out of the water. If the shark is able to follow you onto land, you’re fucked.

I hope that these tips help you in case you are ever in this situation. Remember, these are tips from me “Rusty” Cosgrove, world renown scientist and sea survival expert.

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Also seee this article on how to survive a bear attack.